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The Watering Hole Weekends, girlfriends or happenings ... no knife talk allowed! |
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Latest Naval instruction
Cincpacflt Pearl Harbor Hi//n1/n21/n11//
Alnavsurfpac Alnavsurflant Vairwarcenwpndiv Pt Mugu Ca//311200e/31410e// Navordsafsecact Indian Head Md//n2// Navordsafsecact Essolant Norfolk Va//n712a// Namtragru Pensacola Fl//2206// Usstratcom Offutt Afb Ne//j416// Bt Unclas Subj/ Safe Work Practices In Potentially Flammable Atmospheres// Msgid/genadmin/cnsf/-/may// Rmks/ 1. A Petty Officer Was Treated At A Military Treatment Facility (mtf) After Complaining Of Shortness Of Breath After Working In An Enclosed Workspace With Several Other Personnel. The Dining Facility Had Served A Mexican Meal For Lunch,causing Suspected High Methane And Sulfite Levels In The Atmosphere From The Crew's Flatulence. 2. Many Navy Personnel Work In Facilities And On Ships Where Flatulence May Exist, And, Due To Mission Urgency, Are Not Able To Immediately Vacate The Space Should The Air Become Foul. This Mishap Serves As A Strong Reminder That The Expression Of Flatulence Can Be Extremely Dangerous In These Areas, Unless They Are Specifically Listed As Intrinsically Safe. The Navy Has Developed The Following Safe Work Practice To Address This Problem: Effective Immediately, The Practice Of Expelling Flatulence, Commonly Referred To As "farting," "breaking Wind," Or "passing Gas," Is Prohibited Aboard All Naval Ships, Boats, Vehicles, Aircraft, And Shore Installations. 3. This Regulation Applies Not Only To Audible Flatulence, Or Incidents That Are Claimed By Their Perpetrator, But Also To Covert Events Such As "deadly Whispers," "cheek Sneakers," "air Dustings." 4. Unauthorized Expulsion Of Flatulence Is To Be Punished Under The Ucmj. "he Who Smelt It Dealt It" Is Considered Sufficient Basis For Prosecution. "i Didn't Know It Was Going To Stink" Or "I Ate At The Galley" Is Not To Be Accepted As An Excuse For Failure To Control Oneself. 5. Commands Are Instructed To Ensure Known Gas Producing Foods Are Avoided At The Dining Facilities. Mexican Themed Meals, Navy Or Baked Beans, Chili, Cabbage, And Egg Salad Are No Longer Authorized Menu Items. 6. The Lighting Of Flatulence With Any Type Of Open Flame Is Still Prohibited.// __________________ I cook with a flair for the dramatic, and depraved indifference to calories Last edited by Drac; 06-12-2009 at 03:19 PM. |
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