Red Neck Fun

Being an Appalachian American (it's not politically correct to call us "hillbillies" any more) I can post these.

Enjoy:

You Know You're A Redneck When ...-- 2002 Edition

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the
governor to spare a loved one.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they
don't want it.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your ####### plate personalized because
your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer
quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
"Cool Whip" on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop
always brings you home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000
worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your
teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

Question: What has 4 boobs and 3 teeth?
Answer: The midnight shift at the Waffle House....

Good one Don.Been dining in AR again? Stop by the house sometime.

Dana,one could take offense to those remarks.But heck sounds like we are family. :rollin:

I call that place the AWFUL house. Three teeth? You must have gone to a nice one.

HEY,

My Mother is from the back woods of Kentucky. I don't see what so funny about these, doesn't your Nama want ammo?

Drac

The coming back from the dump with more than you took sounds like Gene...

[MongoForge]

I remember living in one Southern state i wont mention
and there was a guy that honestly hauled hay in his Impala..
Even the "hillbillies" thought he was strange

[Walosi]

Originally posted by MongoForge
I remember living in one Southern state i wont mention
and there was a guy that honestly hauled hay in his Impala..
Even the "hillbillies" thought he was strange

HEH HEH....You should spend some time up around Lexington. I've seen hay bales in the back of a Bentley