Things are getting too serious............

[jdlange]

give me a little bit I'll go downstairs and hammer out a pipe for him.

While I'm thinking about it, if the definition of "chicken" is "squirrel" or "rattlesnake" then what if the definition of the word "pipe"?

[SteveS]

Joshua,

Do you mean the noun? As in, "Hande me that pipe."

Or the verb? As in, "Elevator owners pipe in music."

Steve

[flashinthepan]

SQUIRRELS ; CHICKENS; AND BEARS - OH MY !!!!!

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof, so he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.


The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a
baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going
to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his
testicles and not let go.

The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage
in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, SHOOT THE DOG!"

[flashinthepan]

Subject: The Rabbit
THE RABBIT

A man is driving along a highway

and sees a rabbit jump out

across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it,

but unfortunately

the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver,

a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,

pulls over and gets out to see

what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay,

the rabbit is dead.

The driver feels so awful

that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman

driving down the highway

sees a man crying on the

side of the road

and pulls over.

She steps out of the car

and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible,"

he explains,

"I accidentally hit this rabbit

and killed it."

The blonde says,

"Don't worry."

She runs to her car

and pulls out a spray can.

She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,

bends down,

and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up,

waves its paw at the two of them

and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops,

turns around and waves again,

he hops down the road another 10 feet,

turns and waves, hops another ten feet,

turns and waves,

and repeats this again and again and again,

until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished
He runs over to the woman and demands,
"What is in that can?
What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around
so that the man can read the label.
It says...

(Are you ready for this?)



(Are you sure?)



(This is bad!)



(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)






(You know you could just click off

and not read the punch line....)





(You can still delete it)



(You know you're gonna be sorry)



(Last chance)



(OK, here it is)

It says,




"Hair Spray -

Restores life to dead hair,

Adds permanent wave. "

[jdlange]

Good lord Thom..................hehe

[jdlange]

A bear carrying a ladder, a chicken with a baseball bat, a squirrel holding a shotgun and a rabbit wearing a Yale t-shirt walk into a bar owned by a rattlesnake and an angry pittbull with a mouthful of nuts. The rabbit pulls out a crack pipe, leans over to where the rattlensnake is sitting and calls him a chicken........................................... .................................................. .....



ok now somebody else finish it...............hehe

[john costa]

Thom, Josh,
That got my day started off with a good laugh, thanks.........jc

[John T Wylie Jr]

if a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in a day in a half , how much would a pound of Damascus weigh ?

[birdog4]

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds off a dill pickle?

[Alan L]

Originally Posted by birdog4

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds off a dill pickle?

42. 0]

[SteveS]

Now we know the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

Plus the question.

I must admit the question isn't quite what I expected.... then again, maybe it is........

Steve

[Sweany]

[McAhron]

How many knifenetwork members does it take to change a light bulb?

[flashinthepan]

What if the light bulb doesn't want to change ??

[SteveS]

Sweany, after a photo like that I'm soooo proud to be a life member of the Barkin Turtle Tribe.

(You just bust me up.)

STeve